The other day, I watched Vogue France’s ‘What’s in your bag?’ and, apart from being surprised by how many trinkets, good-luck charms and unhygienically stored eyebrow brushes models and celebrities seem to be carrying around, there was one thing that stuck with me: A journal with a citation from Karl Lagerfeld on its cover: Personality starts where comparison ends. It’s not really about the journal. In fact, I would not endorse carrying such things in your handbag. Overloading your bag with non-essentials like that will only give you a stiff neck and shoulder pain over time. Trust me on this one.
To go back to the quote, I thought it fit so well with the topic I wanted to write about this week. How comparing yourself and striving to meet other people’s expectations can be a real thief of joy or a catalyst for spreading negativity, apart from showing that you have no individuality to offer the world or those around you.
Have you ever had a real-life hater ask you: “How were your holidays?” And then make a face and walk away when your answer to the next mandatory question: “What did you do?” was “Nothing, really. It was relaxing”. People don’t want to hear whether you had a great time. That’s not the point of that question. They want to compare themselves. They want to know how many boxes you ticked off a copy-and-paste ‘bucket list’; how many ‘must see’ sights you saw, paid for and over-crowded together with the other thousands of travellers re-living the It girl itinerary they have seen recycled in different versions at least 100 times on TikTok or Instagram. Newsflash: Hailey Bieber and the Kardashians are most probably richer than you are, so good luck trying to relive their adventures. And this leads me to my second point.
I think the only thing people are really interested in is what you spent. Not openly, of course. But by trying to fish out what you did and where you stayed, they’ll input it all into the invisible calculator in their heads. Because they want to judge. Especially your colleagues. They want to judge whether your holiday was more expensive and luxurious than theirs, because how dare you have so much spare money! I think that is the part I hate the most about returning from holidays. It’s that jealous inquisition.
“You stayed in the 1st arrondissement in Paris?! Oh lálá, très chic!” Mind you, that particular colleague earns twice as much as I do and actually, the hotel was in the 8th. “You only stayed in Paris?” (Imagine that question with a verbal eyeroll). But at least a gleeful “Did you get stuck in the protests?” absolutely tipped the scale. Comparison successful. Her holiday must have sucked. What a waste of money.
I treated myself to a massage (gatekeeping the location) and went on a day trip to the magnificent Château de Versailles. I’ll tell you more about this excursion another time. No rushing, no ticking boxes, just being. While the excessive walking took a physical toll on me, the mind got a well-deserved break, which in my opinion made the holiday a true success.
The truth of the matter is that I had a fabulous time in Paris, only Paris. For the first time ever, I spent a nice number of days in a very pretty, Parisian hotel I have been at previously. But this time, I did not just run through it on a weekend or a short lay-over from the Middle East.
I came to purposely enjoy Paris, the city and its vibe. In my opinion, autumn is also arguably the most beautiful time to visit the French capital, and the weather did not disappoint. At no time are the parks more beautiful than in October. That’s just my own opinion.
I slept in, had croissants and pains au chocolat for breakfast, enjoyed the central location and took my time pursuing the Bohemian lifestyle. A slow-living city break, so to speak. I went for coffee and to the parks. I took lots of pictures and just sat. I ate macarons and pastries, had relaxed matcha and coffees sur place rather than in a trashy to-go cup and did a bit of shopping.
I treated myself to a massage (gatekeeping the location) and went on a day trip to the magnificent Château de Versailles. I’ll tell you more about this excursion another time. No rushing, no ticking boxes, just being. While the excessive walking took a physical toll on me, the mind got a well-deserved break, which in my opinion made the holiday a true success.
The only comparison I engaged in was whether macarons are better at La Durée or Fauchon. I have to be honest: La Durée wins by quite a margin.
What I do for fun on a holiday is boring to most other people and that’s quite okay. I don’t need to engage in activities just to have something to report to the haters. Holidays and travel are about enjoyment and personal experiences, and for me the simple fact that I was able to be in a beautiful place was more than enough. It did not need fancy dinners, pricy shopping or thrilling activities. For me, the biggest luxury on this trip was time. Although I have been to Paris many times, I never had that much time. And it made quite a difference. I could do the things I wanted to do and go to the shops I wanted to go to without feeling rushed.
And every night I thought how lucky I was when I walked back to that beautiful hotel in the 8th arrondissement. How were my holidays? They were amazing. Thank you for asking.
No AI was used in writing this post.
